A heartfelt reminder and proclaimation

The growth I have been experiencing is not only noticed by my readers, but also my closest friends. Below is a letter from a dear friend reflecting on my progress. The letter allows me to recognize my transformation.

 

To my dearest Anna,

You have the laughter that warms up the room and a look that lures people to you.  The light hearted attitude and the ability to accept others make you a magnet.  You are an attractive human; you work hard, achieve goals, embrace others, and give of yourself.  You have the heart of a servant.  

Along your path you have discovered those addictions which bind you.  Through this process, you found yourself exposing memories and reevaluating past actions.  Revealed aspects of who you are and how you got here.  You have been stripping down, exposing yourself and embracing the process of being broken down. You are naked. 

In your nakedness you are exploring the freedom and liberation of truth and enlightenment.  You accept the pain and understand that this pain is different than past suffering.  Past suffrage is a pattern, an addiction, a cancer.  Present pain is of acknowledgement, of understanding, of release, and of renewal. 

In your nakedness and liberation, be aware, the enemy is always near.  He will always be slithering around with sweat seductions, and open up easy roads back to destruction.  Be guarded and alert.  Do not be filled with pride or despair.  Do not attack your enemy alone.  Always seek our great Father, God.

Fill your life with good.  Seek ways to use your servant’s heart to serve the Kingdom.  Use your gifts to be the benefit and the light for others.  You are a blessing and your journey will be a testimony.

Fight with passion to break free from your chains.  When you get exhausted, seek out the Lord first.  When you need support, only seek out those who are in Christ.  Remember Proverbs 27:6; “Wounds from a friend can be trusted.  But an enemy kisses you many times (deceitfully).

My Blessings and My Declarations:

No longer does shame bind you in shackles, no longer will fear hold you in bondage, no longer will lies entrap you, and no longer will Satan seduce you. YOU ARE THE DAUGHTER OF A MIGHTY KING; NO LONGER WILL YOU BE ENSLAVED!

I proclaim this with love and admiration. 

Facing the woman in the mirror

“Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart.  Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.” Carl Jung

Now that my birthday has past and I am over my fear of being forty, I have reflected on my last year of thirty-something. The last year of my life has been amazing. The growth I have experienced is beyond words.  A year ago I felt I had wasted my life. After three failed marriages and numerous job changes, I felt like I was getting nowhere. I decided I had to make some serious changes in my life to feel complete. It was hard to take a deep look at myself. I always wanted to blame other people for my failures, but in reality the only common denominator was me. So I decided if I wanted things to change, I needed to look at myself and no one else.

                As I began to examine myself, I feared that I would not like what I would find. It’s easy to live in denial and ignore all the serious faults we try to hide. Facing me was scary; I reached into depths never before explored. I discovered more about myself in one year than I had my previous lifetime. It was hard to face the truth about myself and admit the areas in my life where I did not honor myself or others. The deeper I dug, the more pain I revealed. Reliving the pain of my past was devastating. Feeling this pain for a second time and facing the consequences of such choices was harder than the initial hurt. As the pain subsided and the healing began, I realized how much I cheated myself and allowed others to harm me.

                Once I learned how my past hurts had affected my life and would affect my future, I couldn’t ignore them anymore. Now that I was given all this knowledge about myself, I had to decide what to do with it. Armed with so many discoveries, I had to take immediate actions to change my future. If I kept living my life the same way I was only creating more destruction. Taking a deep look at me was difficult, but the freedom I received from it was worth so much more. I have awakened new talents and desires to lead my life in a more positive, fulfilling direction. Now I can really begin to live!

Turning Forty; life is good and only getting better.

Why is the thought of turning forty such a big deal? Why does the age of forty bring so much dread? Forty seems to mark the end of youth and the beginning old age, but forty is not such a bad place to be. As Bob Hope once said, “She said she was approaching 40 and I couldn't help wondering from what direction”. As I approach my fortieth birthday, I reflect on the decisions and actions that brought me to this path in life. 

When I first thought about turning forty, I was focused on where I had expected to be at this point in my life. I was focused on my several failed relationships, my financial loss and struggles, and mediocre career. I became very depressed looking at all my failures. As I wallowed in self-pity, I allowed my thoughts to stew on all the things I didn’t have; no husband, no house, no financial security, and an unfulfilling career. I felt so old and unaccomplished.

I was pulled from my pit of despair by my best friend’s persistence of the progress I have made in the past few years to better understand myself and move in a more positive direction. After two years of self-discovery and growth I am ready to hit the restart button on my life. I have managed to set myself up for great new adventures and opportunities.

 I have put systems in place to improve my finances and become debt free in three years. I have increased my education allowing for more career opportunities. And although I am not in a relationship, God has exposed me to the errors of my past, provided me knowledge, and blessed me with discernment to allow the right person to come into my life. As I look at my life with new vision, I see that it’s pretty good and only getting better.