Saturday, February 22, 2014

New Beginnings

After a yearlong break for my blog, I have decided to start writing again. The past year has seen even more growth than before. For a long time I felt like such a disappointment to my family. I was confused about who I really was and I didn’t understand what I really wanted in life. It took me forty long years to figure out myself. Sometimes I feel like the Israelites and their journey through the desert. Their journey could have been short, but God needed them to learn to be faithful and full of God’s love and mercy. It took forty years for the Israelites to understand what God was doing for them. The same was true for me.

It took me forty years to understand what God could do for me. Forty years to learn I can’t do everything on my own. Forty years to learn that my way wasn’t the best way for me. Forty years to learn how to love and be loved. Forty years to truly love the person God created in me and stop trying to deny who I am. Once I let the real me shine, my life turned around and everything became easier. I finally learned to be comfortable with myself and that allowed me to be more comfortable with others.

Looking back on the last year of my life, I have seen so many changes and so much growth. I have learned so much about myself, my likes and dislikes, what really makes me happy and how I can really make others happy.  I have seen a side of my life that I thought only existed in dreams. I became more confident.  I have reached new heights in my relationships and myself. I have stopped blaming others and focused on how I can live my life completely.

The Lord has blessed me in so many ways over the past year, providing me with a new career that allowed my talents to blossom, talents I had forgotten even existed in me. And in that journey of discovery, love found me when I wasn’t even looking.  The Lord brought the most amazing man into my life, a partner that brings out the best in me. A partner that supports me 100% and loves me for who I really am, not what he wants me to be. A partner that is there to comfort me and understands how I feel in times of need. A partner that makes me believe again when all can feel lost. He is someone who knows how to hold me and make everything feel okay. I never knew love could be so amazing and so complete. 

Now that my forty years of wandering in the desert are over, I can’t wait to see what else the Lord has in store for me.