Saturday, February 9, 2013

Facing the woman in the mirror

“Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart.  Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.” Carl Jung

Now that my birthday has past and I am over my fear of being forty, I have reflected on my last year of thirty-something. The last year of my life has been amazing. The growth I have experienced is beyond words.  A year ago I felt I had wasted my life. After three failed marriages and numerous job changes, I felt like I was getting nowhere. I decided I had to make some serious changes in my life to feel complete. It was hard to take a deep look at myself. I always wanted to blame other people for my failures, but in reality the only common denominator was me. So I decided if I wanted things to change, I needed to look at myself and no one else.
                As I began to examine myself, I feared that I would not like what I would find. It’s easy to live in denial and ignore all the serious faults we try to hide. Facing me was scary; I reached into depths never before explored. I discovered more about myself in one year than I had my previous lifetime. It was hard to face the truth about myself and admit the areas in my life where I did not honor myself or others. The deeper I dug, the more pain I revealed. Reliving the pain of my past was devastating. Feeling this pain for a second time and facing the consequences of such choices was harder than the initial hurt. As the pain subsided and the healing began, I realized how much I cheated myself and allowed others to harm me.
                Once I learned how my past hurts had affected my life and would affect my future, I couldn’t ignore them anymore. Now that I was given all this knowledge about myself, I had to decide what to do with it. Armed with so many discoveries, I had to take immediate actions to change my future. If I kept living my life the same way I was only creating more destruction. Taking a deep look at me was difficult, but the freedom I received from it was worth so much more. I have awakened new talents and desires to lead my life in a more positive, fulfilling direction. Now I can really begin to live!


  1. Seems to me that you were ready to change and part of that change is taking an honest and hard look at your core.

    Terrific post, please keep them coming!

  2. Anna,

    I respect the sincerity in your words and I commend you on you transparency. True change start within us and I believe that is the true path to self discovery. Thanks for sharing I am looking fwd to reading the next one!


  3. Anna,

    This was an awesome article. I am sure you will be an inspiration for many people who are going through similar situations and phases in their lives.

    I love your writing style. Please continue to write these introspective pieces. I look forward to reading a lot more of your work.